An Apolgy

Death is inevitable I know
but you can't blame me for missing you and I can't stop myself
I fool myself  when I say I was relieved that you were gone
you were a part of me I didn't want to admit that this part is done
I loved you I love you still and I owe that no will
Please forgive me for everything I never meant it
I know how much you loved me and how much I didn't deserve it
I can't tell you how much I wish I could rewind this single time of my entire existence
how much I want to right it but I can't
I will forever regret and I'll never forget

I AM SORRY

pain

How many times i couldn't sleep??
that chest pain cutting in so deep

the important question what's the reason behind it??

a life quest that started so early
my breath is hardly leaving my chest just barely

some nights is worst than others
some aren't so bad i know you might think how sad

a girl who has everything even before she was  born
sometimes it keeps me awake till dawn

no one understands how deep is the pain
and how slowly my life drain

Inspiration

you inspired me to have a purpose in life

before you i was roaming the earth alone living breathing but empty inside
if you look deeper into my soul it seemed as if i died

like a zombie days flew  no change nothing new
until you came into my life you gave me a reason to fight and survive

you gave me back what i have lost the ability to dream
you illuminated my dim like a shining light beam

saying i love you seems as an understatement to my feelings towards you
love infatuation all words that won't give my feelings it's fair due

but i do love you ocean wide as deep as the sea
your true place is in my heart and it always shall be

MY KNIGHT AS SILLY AS IT MAY SEEM 
BABY YOU 'RE THE ANSWER TO EVERY WISH AND DREAM  

The Damage Is Done

you told me to choose either you or him

loving you Is legit but loving him Is the perfect sin

I loved you once but my heart has changed I've changed our love though epic as It was

It felt as If I am lost In an endless maze

with him It seems as If I have found the way

there Is nothing that will ease your pain nothing that I'll say

his love has opened every barricaded door

It has rocked me to the core

making me question everything all that I am

telling you today Is the hardest thing to do

cause though it's him I am choosing It's you that I am losing

love Is undefined all that I know Is that It either sets you free or leaves you In a cage confined

It either helps you thrive or consume you rendering you barely alive

RelationShit

lost in life wondering away from the path she once charted
she swirled in to chaos when she met you and still.....  though you have departed

were you the disease or the cure everything is obscure
living the cold routine everyone pass unseen

her soul is crying for help, it's disparately showing in her eyes one thing she can't disguise
the further she held on to him the more she sunk into darkness

Now willingly falling off path wondering aimlessly in that empty void of craziness
his entity is lingering to her soul clinging


wasted until her last breath she's sinking
no way out no release until she ceases to exist


 those are the rules of the game
if you let him control you, your role would be to please
 and once you're done
NO MORE EXISTANCE NO MORE SUN

 I thought your love would weaken me, consume me dry

the thought of leaving made my heart cry 

afraid I drowned in my fear, my mind convinced me that you should disappear

you captured me, you said it all leaving me speechless

I thought it over and I became fearless 

then I was alone thinking about you from dusk to dawn

my mind kept playing this bad scenario, like a broken record in a stereo 

why is it every time I almost follow my heart my mind screams wake up from your dreams 

It grounds me to earth making me face a cold truth with an end at which I lose

so I run away from what's anticipated , you look at me "we haven't even debated!!" 

until when"will I live in fear??" I ask my self no answer, nothing is clear

my heart is dying inside and I am alone again

all your tries to contact me has gone in vain 

watching the dawn, crying under the rain, i end my confusion by slitting a vein.   

  

DESTINED LOVE

you know how is it when you meet someone and your souls recognize each other, time stops for a second everything goes neutral even the heat of the summer

It might sound like a cliche but the place and time were perfect and it looked like it was worth it
then it turns out to be a mistake, he asks you for what you can't make not even for love's sake

you act yourself and offer friendship but he wants more, you love him in your heart's core
but he's so confusing that at some point you don't know if you're wining or losing

you walk away don't look back cause you don't want him to see your tears with every step you take you let go of your fears and your heart's wound further heals.